Corn Rolls

A new level of classiness: smooshing four pictures together...INTO ONE PICTURE!!

Another slam-dunk from King Arthur. Goddamn, I love stomping around with my filthy, filthy feet on the shoulders of giants!

Corn Rolls
From King Arthur's Whole Grain Baking.

Ingredients:
½ cup lukewarm water
½ tsp white sugar
2 ¼ tsp active dry yeast

1 cup frozen corn kernels

½ cup whole yellow cornmeal
¼ cup wheat bran or germ
½ cup whole wheat flour
2 cups bread flour
1 ¼ tsp salt
3 Tbs potato starch flour OR potato flour OR ½ cup potato flakes

¼ cup nonfat dry milk
¼ cup orange juice
1 tsp vanilla extract
3 Tbs light corn syrup
3 Tbs honey
6 Tbs unsalted butter

Vegetable shortening

Directions:
1. To proof the yeast: dissolve the sugar in the lukewarm water, and sprinkle the yeast on top. Let it rest for 10 minutes.

2. Thaw the corn kernels in the microwave, and then puree in a blender. Let cool while the yeast is proofing.

3. Combine the dry ingredients in a deep bowl, and once the yeast is done proofing, combine all of the wet ingredients (except for the shortening), pureed corn, and yeast. Knead for 3-4 minutes or until a slack, medium-soft dough is formed.

4. Cover the top of the bowl with plastic wrap and let the dough rise for 1 ½ hours at ~70°F.

5. Lightly grease a 9x13” pan, your hands, and a sharp knife with the shortening.

6. Gently deflate the dough and cut it with the greased knife into 16 equal pieces. Carefully shape them into rolls by pulling the dough smoothly into a small knot on the bottom of the roll. Place in the greased pan, evenly spaced and not touching.

7. Cover the rolls and pan with the plastic wrap and let them rise at 70°F for another hour.

8. Preheat the oven to 350°F.

9. Bake the rolls for 25-27 minutes, or until golden-brown on the top.

10. Remove the rolls and let them cool for 5 minutes before trying to cut into them.

Vegetable Pot Pie

Potato potato potato potato potato!

Chock full of veggies and with a (half-)whole wheat crust, this disturbingly healthy pie base is redeemed – er, pleasantly balanced – with what can best be described as “butter gravy.” In the words of Eric Cartman: “Sweeeeeet.”
Vegetable Pot Pie

Ingredients:
For crust:
1 ½ cups white whole wheat flour
1 cup all-purpose flour
1 tsp kosher salt
2/3 cup extra-virgin olive oil
5 Tbs ice-cold water
1 medium or large egg, whisked

Vegetables:
2 Tbs extra-virgin olive oil
2 carrots, peeled and diced
1 large onion, diced
3 cloves of garlic, minced
2 medium potatoes, diced
3-4 oz white mushrooms, quartered
6 oz fresh broccoli florets
½ cup frozen green peas, defrosted

Gravy:
2 Tbs unsalted butter
3 Tbs all-purpose flour
1 cup high-quality homemade vegetable or mushroom broth
½ cup lowfat (NOT skim) milk
1 cup dry marsala wine OR ½ cup cooking sherry + ½ cup sweet vermouth
2-3 Tbs fresh parsley, minced (optional)
1 Tbs ground sage
½ tsp minced dried leaf marjoram
¼ tsp ground thyme
¼ tsp ground nutmeg
½ tsp ground black pepper
¼ tsp white pepper
Salt to taste

Directions:
1. Heat the 2 Tbs of olive oil in a large skillet over medium heat. When fragrant, sauté the onions for 3 minutes or until translucent, then stir in the garlic. Sauté the garlic for another minute, then stir in the carrot and potatoes. Cook, stirring occasionally, for another 7 minutes.

2. Add the broccoli and mushrooms and cook until slightly wilted, then stir in the peas and cook until heated through. Turn off the heat. The potatoes and carrots shouldn’t be thoroughly cooked.

3. In a separate skillet, melt the butter over medium heat. When the foam has dissipated, stir in the all-purpose flour and let it toast lightly.

4. Whisk the broth, milk, and wine (or sherry + vermouth) into the butter and flour (“roux”). Continue to whisk until smooth and thickened, then stir in all of the herbs and ground peppers. Taste and adjust seasonings as needed.

5. Preheat the oven to 375°F.

6. Let the gravy and vegetables cool slightly while you prepare the crust: stir the flours and kosher salt together, then drizzle in the olive in a slow, steady stream, stirring steadily until the mixture forms pea-sized crumbs.

7. Stir in the ice-cold water until the dough comes together, then knead together into a slightly crumbly ball.

8. Divide the dough ball in half. Prepare the top crust of the pot pie by fitting a sheet of parchment paper into a 9” pie pan and pressing half of the dough ball into the bottom and sides of the pan. Gently lift the crust and parchment paper together out of the pan.

9. Press the other half of the dough ball into the bottom and sides of the pie pan.

10. Pour the gravy over the vegetables, and then scoop the mixture into the crust. Holding the top crust to the parchment paper, invert the paper, and roll the crust gently over the top of the pie. Fix whatever rips have formed in the crust, and seal up the edges by pressing the two crusts together.

11. Bake for 30 minutes, then remove from the oven and stir the whisked egg over the top crust.

12. Bake for an additional 8 minutes, or until the egg has turned a beautiful golden-brown on the crust.

13. Remove from the oven and let cool for 10 minutes before cutting.

Wheat Rolls

Mmm, insect producty...

These rolls have it all. Flavor. Fiber. Insect product. Guaranteed to please anyone who possesses a keen intellect, discriminating palate, and – need I even say it? – superlative personal odor. Plus they’re darn easy.

Wheat Rolls
From King Arthur’s Whole Grain Baking.

Ingredients:
1 cup (8 oz) lukewarm water
2 ¼ tsp active dry yeast
½ tsp white sugar
¼ cup (2 oz) orange juice
4 Tbs unsalted butter, cut into small pieces and left at room temperature to soften for an hour, preferably
3 Tbs honey
2 cups whole wheat flour
1 cup all-purpose flour
1 ¼ tsp salt
3 Tbs potato starch flour OR potato flour OR ½ cup dried potato flakes
¼ cup nonfat dry milk*
Vegetable shortening

Butter.  Did I mention butter?

Directions:
1. Proof the yeast by dissolving the sugar in the lukewarm water and then sprinkling the active dry yeast on top. Let sit for 10 min. until foamy. If you have instant yeast, do not despair! For you can skip this step.

2. Combine all of the dry ingredients while waiting on the yeast, then add the yeast and other wet ingredients. Stir together and then knead by hand for approximately 4 minutes, or until you have a smooth, medium-soft dough. Cover the top of the bowl with plastic wrap and place it in a warm (~70°F**) place for approximately 1 ½ - 2 hours. It’ll be puffy but it probably won’t have doubled in bulk.

3. Using the shortening, lightly grease a 9x13” pan.

4. Squeeze the dough carefully with your hands to deflate it, and transfer it out onto a lightly greased work surface. Keep the shortening on hand as you work – you’ll need to re-grease the work surface, and your hands, in the next step.

5. Grease your hands and a knife blade, then cut the dough into approximately 16 even small pieces.

6. To make traditional roll shapes, pull the dough into a small knot on the bottom of the roll. Place each roll knot-side down in the greased pan, spaced so that they are not touching.

7. Cover the pan with the plastic wrap again and return them to whatever warm, private place you have selected for them to reflect on their impending doom. Let them rise again for another 1 – 1 ½ hours, or until they are puffy and starting to touch each other.

8. Preheat the oven to 350°F.

9. Remove the plastic wrap and bake the rolls for 25 minutes, or until they are pleasingly brown on the top. Remove and let them cool for 5 minutes before you try to cut into them, or else they’ll tear in a most obnoxious way.

* Why nonfat dry milk, and not just a cup of milk? I’d be worried about leaving out regular liquid milk at 70°F for over 3 hours, unless you’re really into the whole bacteria culture thing.
** I like using the light in the microwave, myself, by setting the bowl in the microwave and then leaving the door just slightly ajar so that the light is on and it warms up the interior.

Sambar Daal - South Indian Lentil Soup

Giant cilantro leaf attacks daal, 2 injured.

I absolutely adore Indian cuisine. It’s everything a half-assed vegetarian could want: flavorful, high in fiber, frequently deep-fried…

That being said, I find it darn hard to cook. That legendary mainstay of Indian cooking in the West, Madhur Jaffrey, has never done much for me. I’ve actually had better luck – a hit:miss ratio greater than 1:8, at least – with (I’ll whisper this) the internet.

Anyway, this daal is one of those hits. And how!

Sambar Daal – South Indian Lentil Soup
Adapted from South Indian Recipes.

Ingredients:
1 cup red lentils
1 tsp turmeric
1 1x2x1” piece of tamarind pulp (approximately the size of half a lime)
Canola oil
1 tsp black mustard seeds

Tempering:
1 tsp fenugreek seeds
8-10 curry leaves
2 small dried red chilies
1 large onion or 4-5 shallots, diced
1 large carrot, peeled and diced
2 medium tomatoes, diced

2 Tbs sambar masala/powder
½ Tbs salt
¼ tsp asafetida (optional)

½ cup fresh cilantro, chopped

Directions:
1. Start the tamarind pulp soaking for 20 minutes in 1 cup of hot water.

2. Bring 3 cups of water to a boil over high heat in a covered saucepan. Meanwhile, rinse and drain the red lentils repeatedly until the water runs clear.

3. Once the water is boiling, add the lentils, turmeric, and 1 tsp of the oil. Bring back to a boil, uncovered. Turn the heat down to medium and let the lentils boil while you prepare the tempering. If too much water seems to have boiled off and the lentils are starting to dry out on the top, add additional hot water to bring it up to the original liquid level.

4. Heat 2 tsp of oil over medium-high heat in a skillet. Once hot, and using a lid to cover the skillet a protect yourself, fry the mustard seeds, fenugreek seeds, curry leaves, and dried chilies until the mustard seeds have stopped popping, approximately 2 minutes.

5. Stir in the onions and carrots and sauté for 4-5 minutes until the onions are translucent. While sautéing, strain out the pulp from the tamarind juice, and throw out the pulp.

6. Add the tomatoes to the onions and carrots, and sauté for another 1-2 minutes or until softened. Stir in the tamarind juice and bring back to a boil. Let reduce for 3 minutes, then stir the tempering into the lentils.

7. Add the sambar masala, salt, asafetida, and half of the chopped cilantro. Simmer for 8 minutes, or until the carrots have cooked through.

8. Turn off the heat, and dish up, garnishing with the remaining fresh cilantro.

Whole Wheat Foccacia and Pesto Sandwiches

Or, two wrongs make a helluva right.

Truly, a sandwich of the gods.

Things I discovered with this foccacia recipe:
* No, that second set of slightly-less-whisky whisks that came with my mixer are not, in fact, a dough hook despite all fantasies to the contrary
* 1 cup is not ½ cup water, except in the non-Euclidean Lovecraftian geometry sense
* Sometimes yeast breads can still work out even when you’re totally making shit up

WARNING: Travel back in time and prepare the pre-ferment. Seriously. Otherwise, check out these sites for same-day foccacia recipes:
Eating Club Vancouver’s Foccacia
A Yankee in a Southern Kitchen’s Cornmeal Foccacia


Whole Wheat Foccacia
Adapted hastily and with moderate swearing from King Arthur Flour’s Whole Grain Baking.

Ingredients:
Pre-ferment:
1 cup (4 oz) whole wheat flour
1 cup (8 oz) water from the tap, heated for 20 seconds in the microwave to barely lukewarm
½ tsp white sugar
¼ tsp active dry yeast

Dough:
All of the pre-ferment
1 ¼ cups (10 oz) water, heated for 30 seconds in the microwave
1 ¼ cups (5 z) whole wheat flour
1 7/8 cups (8 oz) unbleached all-purpose flour
2 tsp salt
¾ tsp active dry yeast
½ tsp white sugar
Additional flour for dusting
Extra-virgin olive oil

Topping:
1 onion, thinly sliced into rings
1 Tbs chopped fresh or dry rosemary
2 Tbs extra-virgin olive oil

Directions:
1. To prepare the pre-ferment: The night before, proof the yeast by dissolving the sugar in the barely warm water, and sprinkling the yeast on top. Let sit for 10 minutes at room temperature until slightly foamy, then mix well with the cup of flour in a deep bowl. Cover the top of the bowl tightly with plastic wrap. Let sit at room temperature for 16 – 18 hours.

2. The next day, proof the additional yeast by dissolving the sugar in the water, then sprinkle the yeast on top. Let sit at room temperature for 10 minutes until slightly foamy.

3. Add the fresh yeast mixture to the pre-ferment, then add the whole wheat and all-purpose flours and salt. Mix vigorously by hand or with an electric mixer for 3 minutes to form a wet, slack, stretchy dough.

4. Cover tightly with the plastic wrap and let rise for 30 minutes at room temperature.

5. Turn the dough out onto a well-floured surface. Flour your hands, and fold it gently into thirds in on itself, like a business letter. Fold it again into thirds perpendicular to the original folding direction. Return to the bowl, fold side down, and cover again for 30 minutes.

6. Repeat the folding and let rise for 15 minutes.

7. Repeat the folding and press the dough into a lightly oiled 10x12” pan. Cover loosely and let it rise for 45 minutes at room temperature.

8. Slice the onion, and if making the foccacia sandwiches (recipe below), slice a large bell pepper into long thing strips. Toss the onion and bell pepper slices with just enough olive oil and spread out without touching on a baking pan. Pre-heat the oven to 425°F, and put the onion and bell peppers into the oven to roast for 15 minutes until it’s up to heat.

9. When the foccacia has finished rising, lightly flour your finger tips and gently dimple the surface of the foccacia. Lay the onion slices on top and sprinkle the rosemary across them. Drizzle the olive oil on top, letting some of it pool in the dimples.

10. Bake until it is a lovely gold color, approximately 18 minutes.

11. Remove and let cool for 15 minutes before cutting.

Pesto
Pesto adapted from Jack Bishop’s The Complete Italian Vegetarian Cookbook.
Ingredients:
2 cups basil leaves, roughly torn
1 cup grated parmesan
3 Tbs pine nuts
2 cloves garlic, roasted lightly in their skins and minced
½ tsp kosher salt
4 Tbs extra-virgin olive oil
Directions:
1. In a food processor (I recommend the Magic Bullet, for maximum processor-that’s-named-like-a-sex-toy value), give the garlic and salt a whirl until well minced and mixed. Add the pine nuts and process until roughly chopped.

2. Add the basil leaves a quarter cup at a time until processed into a fine, wet paste.

3. Scrape the leaves out into a bowl and mix with the grated parmesan and olive oil. Taste and adjust the level of salt and oil as needed. To store the extra pesto, keep it in a closed Tupperware container in the fridge and pour a light layer of oil on the top of it.

Foccacia Sandwiches

Ingredients:
1 foccacia recipe, cut into sandwich-sized sections
Roasted bell peppers
1 medium tomato, sliced
4 oz fresh mozzarella, sliced
1 pesto recipe
Directions:

1. Slice a sandwich-sized rectangle of the foccacia into half. Layer the mozzarella slices on one of the open faces and toast briefly in a toaster oven or regular oven until the cheese has softened.

2. Spread the pesto evenly on the other half.

3. Press the tomato slices into the pesto and layer the roasted bell pepper slices on top. Add the other piece with the melted mozzarella. Ta-da! A 24-hour SANDWICH.

Pizza with Herbed White Whole Wheat Crust

Nothing says "rustic" more than a wooden cutting board harboring bacteria biofilms in its crevices.

Okay, so: my sister recently gave me her extra (!) copy of the King Arthur Flour Whole Grain Baking: Delicious Recipes Using Nutritious Whole Grains. This book is, like, totally awesome because it focuses on my two main interests in life:
1. Science;

2. Fiber.*

Science. Seriously, there’s all sorts of great discussions about the protein content of flours and how that affects the volume of liquid that should be added (answer: roughly linear correlation, so more protein means more liquid needed). And yeast. Lots of yeast talk, which mostly boils down to: if you’re using the instant yeast, you can throw it straight into the flour and just add the liquid and start smooshing – I mean, “kneading” – that sucker. If you’re using active dry yeast (like, um, me), you have to “proof” it first. “Proof” is Fancy Baker Speak for “stir it into some water with a bit of sugar and let it sit for a few minutes until it gets kind of foamy.” The yeast needs to be activated before you can mix it with the flour, and we should politely indulge its lifestyle decisions.

Speaking of lifestyle decisions, I am announcing that I, personally, have discovered the Tastiest Freakin’ White Whole Wheat Pizza Crust Recipe Ever**. It has everything – fiber! science! herbs! weeknight feasibility! – that you could want in a pizza crust. I’ll even throw in my totally bitchin’ sauce recipe, too.

Herbed White Whole Wheat Pizza Crust
Basically straight from Whole Grain Baking, but with even more herbs.

Only a moral degenerate would fail to appreciate this pizza.

Ingredients:
For crust (makes 2 10x12” crusts):
3 ¾ cups (15 oz) white whole wheat flour, plus ¼ cup for flouring various surfaces
1 ½ Tbs active dry yeast
1 ½ cups (12 oz) cool water
1 tsp white sugar
2 Tbs olive oil
2 tsp salt
2 Tbs dried basil
2 Tbs dried oregano
¼ tsp powdered thyme
1 tsp dried sage
For sauce (for 2 10x12” crusts):
1 medium onion, diced
5 cloves garlic, diced
1 parmesan rind (or, ½ cup grated parmesan)
1 Tbs oregano
1 Tbs basil
½ tsp ground black pepper
1 15 oz can diced tomatoes
1 15 oz can tomato sauce
1 12 oz can tomato paste
Olive oil

Toppings (for 1 10x12” crust – PAY ATTENTION):
6 oz fresh mozzarella, sliced into ¼” thick coin shapes
1 bell pepper, sliced into long thin strips
3-4 oz button or cremini mushrooms, sliced
1 medium onion, sliced into rings
Olive oil

Directions:
1. Proof the yeast (unless it’s instant yeast, in which case, just go to the next step) by stirring it into ½ cup of the cool water and adding ½ tsp of the white sugar. Let it sit for 10 minutes at room temperature until it’s foamy.

2. Stir the proofed yeast, the remaining 1 cup of water, and the remaining ½ tsp of white sugar into 2 cups of flour in a mixing bowl. Mix well, , and cover the top of the bowl with plastic wrap. Let it sit at room temperature (yes, even if your room temperature is below 70°F!) for 1 hour.

3. While the crust is on its first rise, prepare the sauce. Heat the olive oil over medium heat in a skillet, then add the onions and garlic. Saute until softened.

4. Stir in the diced tomatoes, sauce, paste, and parmesan (rind). Stir in the herbs and black pepper. Bring to a boil and then reduce the heat to low, letting it simmer with the lid on. Stir occasionally to make sure it’s not burning on the bottom, and adjust the heat accordingly. After 30 minutes, turn the heat off and let it sit with the lid on.

5. When the crust is done with its first rise, stir in the olive oil, herbs, and remaining 1 ¾ cups of flour. Turn it out onto a lightly floured surface and knead for about 3 minutes, until it is elastic and shiny, but still soft.

6. Return it to the bowl, cover with a damp towel, and let it rise at room temperature for at least 1 ½ hours (I’d recommend even longer if you can – the flavor develops wonderfully when you let yeast work on whole wheat over longer periods at cool temperatures).

7. While the crust is on its second rise, prepare the toppings by heating the olive oil over medium-high heat in a separate skillet. Saute the onion, bell pepper, and mushrooms until the bell pepper and mushrooms have wrinkled slightly and some of their moisture has evaporated. Scoop out onto a separate plate and let cool.

8. When the crust is done with its second rise, turn it out onto the lightly floured surface and divided it in half with a knife. Gently shape it into two separate spheres and let them sit, covered with the damp towel, for 20 minutes. Start the oven heating at 375°F.

9. At this point, one of the dough spheres can be frozen by wrapping it tightly in plastic wrap and then putting it in Ziploc bag in the freezer. I’d recommend not putting it in the fridge, because the blasted thing will still keep growing!

10. Gently stretch the remaining dough sphere on the floured surface with your fingers. Use a lightly floured rolling pin to stretch it out the rest of the way; it should be very yielding and stretchable. Transfer it carefully into a 10x12” baking pan that’s been lightly oiled with olive oil.

11. Bake the crust for 10-15 minutes (chewy vs. crunchy) at 375°F. Remove when done, and if baking the second crust now, cook that one for 10-15 min. Let the crust(s) cool slightly while you increase the oven’s temperature to 425°F.

12. Spread half of the sauce on the crust and add half of the toppings. Place the mozzarella coins on top, then distribute the remaining toppings on top of those. Optionally, sprinkle with additional grated parmesan.

13. Bake for 15-18 minutes at 425°F. Remove and let cool in the pan for 10 minutes, then transfer out of the pan (support the middle with a spatula) onto a cutting board.


* Yeah, uh…I sort of spent ages 13-17 perpetually constipated. Try not loving the fiber after a formative experience like that.

** Guys, guys, there are recipes in books!

Greek Salad and Dressing

This giant chickpea will consume us all!

The secret to a good salad? FAT. Screw the whole 1980’s schtick where fat – any fat – is the source of all unsightly ills. You actually need fat to absorb the nutrients offered by the raw ingredients in a salad*. Plus, if a salad doesn’t offer the tasty, and you’ll be feeling hungry in half an hour after eating it, what’s the point?

Don’t believe me? Good for you! The last thing you should do is trust a webpage thrown up by some random schmuck who won’t even give their last name and is a little shaky on the whole concept of “cameras.” Skepticism is the key when it comes to nutrition advice. Hell, skepticism – just asking yourself “Is this too good to be true?” – is the key to avoiding many awkward Better Business Bureau reports that start with “So I was trying to contact the dead while wearing my tinfoil hat when…”

I promise, this recipe involves no tinfoil hats and minimal conversations with those beyond the grave. Instead, it offers a flavor that can best be defined as AWESOME.

Greek Salad and Dressing
Adapted from Kittencal’s wonderful original recipe on Recipezaar.  Makes 4 dinner-size servings.

Ingredients:
For dressing:
3 cloves of garlic, roasted/toaster oven’d until soft, then minced
2 Tbs dried oregano
2 Tbs dried or fresh basil, slivered
3 Tbs red wine vinegar
2 tsp Dijon mustard
1 tsp white sugar
½ tsp salt
Good quality extra-virgin olive oil

For salad:
1 14 oz can (approx. 1 ½ cups cooked) chickpeas, rinsed and drained
2-3 large carrots, peeled and diced
1 large bell pepper, diced
2 medium tomatoes, each cut into eighths
8 oz baby spinach

Optional garnishes:
Sun-dried tomatoes, drained and diced roughly
2 oz feta, crumbled (don’t cut it – break it up with your hands!)
¼ cup pitted kalamata olives, halved
Purple onion slivers
Freshly-ground black pepper

Directions:
1. In a 1-cup measuring glass, dissolve the sugar and salt into the red wine vinegar. Stir in the Dijon mustard and taste the dressing base; it should have a pleasant and strong taste, and be well-balanced between salty, sweet, sour, and savory. Adjust as needed.

2. Stir in the minced garlic, pressing it against the sides of the glass to release the oils. Stir in the herbs.

3. Add enough olive oil to bring the total volume to one cup. Stir it well to mix the ingredients.

4. Divide the spinach evenly between four plates. Pile the peppers, carrots, tomatoes, and chick peas onto the spinach. Top with the garnishes (I really recommend the feta and sun-dried tomatoes), and pour the dressing over the top. Ta-da! AWESOME.

* Want to go to some decent – as in, non-blog – webpages addressing health claims? Check out the USA’s Health and Human Resources (specifically, here) for more info on my wacky claims, or the Food & Drug Administration’s Dietary Guidelines. A good rule of thumb when it comes to nutrition? Avoid taking advice from anybody who’s offering to sell you a product.  And bloggers. ;)