Corn Rolls

A new level of classiness: smooshing four pictures together...INTO ONE PICTURE!!

Another slam-dunk from King Arthur. Goddamn, I love stomping around with my filthy, filthy feet on the shoulders of giants!

Corn Rolls
From King Arthur's Whole Grain Baking.

Ingredients:
½ cup lukewarm water
½ tsp white sugar
2 ¼ tsp active dry yeast

1 cup frozen corn kernels

½ cup whole yellow cornmeal
¼ cup wheat bran or germ
½ cup whole wheat flour
2 cups bread flour
1 ¼ tsp salt
3 Tbs potato starch flour OR potato flour OR ½ cup potato flakes

¼ cup nonfat dry milk
¼ cup orange juice
1 tsp vanilla extract
3 Tbs light corn syrup
3 Tbs honey
6 Tbs unsalted butter

Vegetable shortening

Directions:
1. To proof the yeast: dissolve the sugar in the lukewarm water, and sprinkle the yeast on top. Let it rest for 10 minutes.

2. Thaw the corn kernels in the microwave, and then puree in a blender. Let cool while the yeast is proofing.

3. Combine the dry ingredients in a deep bowl, and once the yeast is done proofing, combine all of the wet ingredients (except for the shortening), pureed corn, and yeast. Knead for 3-4 minutes or until a slack, medium-soft dough is formed.

4. Cover the top of the bowl with plastic wrap and let the dough rise for 1 ½ hours at ~70°F.

5. Lightly grease a 9x13” pan, your hands, and a sharp knife with the shortening.

6. Gently deflate the dough and cut it with the greased knife into 16 equal pieces. Carefully shape them into rolls by pulling the dough smoothly into a small knot on the bottom of the roll. Place in the greased pan, evenly spaced and not touching.

7. Cover the rolls and pan with the plastic wrap and let them rise at 70°F for another hour.

8. Preheat the oven to 350°F.

9. Bake the rolls for 25-27 minutes, or until golden-brown on the top.

10. Remove the rolls and let them cool for 5 minutes before trying to cut into them.

Vegetable Pot Pie

Potato potato potato potato potato!

Chock full of veggies and with a (half-)whole wheat crust, this disturbingly healthy pie base is redeemed – er, pleasantly balanced – with what can best be described as “butter gravy.” In the words of Eric Cartman: “Sweeeeeet.”
Vegetable Pot Pie

Ingredients:
For crust:
1 ½ cups white whole wheat flour
1 cup all-purpose flour
1 tsp kosher salt
2/3 cup extra-virgin olive oil
5 Tbs ice-cold water
1 medium or large egg, whisked

Vegetables:
2 Tbs extra-virgin olive oil
2 carrots, peeled and diced
1 large onion, diced
3 cloves of garlic, minced
2 medium potatoes, diced
3-4 oz white mushrooms, quartered
6 oz fresh broccoli florets
½ cup frozen green peas, defrosted

Gravy:
2 Tbs unsalted butter
3 Tbs all-purpose flour
1 cup high-quality homemade vegetable or mushroom broth
½ cup lowfat (NOT skim) milk
1 cup dry marsala wine OR ½ cup cooking sherry + ½ cup sweet vermouth
2-3 Tbs fresh parsley, minced (optional)
1 Tbs ground sage
½ tsp minced dried leaf marjoram
¼ tsp ground thyme
¼ tsp ground nutmeg
½ tsp ground black pepper
¼ tsp white pepper
Salt to taste

Directions:
1. Heat the 2 Tbs of olive oil in a large skillet over medium heat. When fragrant, sauté the onions for 3 minutes or until translucent, then stir in the garlic. Sauté the garlic for another minute, then stir in the carrot and potatoes. Cook, stirring occasionally, for another 7 minutes.

2. Add the broccoli and mushrooms and cook until slightly wilted, then stir in the peas and cook until heated through. Turn off the heat. The potatoes and carrots shouldn’t be thoroughly cooked.

3. In a separate skillet, melt the butter over medium heat. When the foam has dissipated, stir in the all-purpose flour and let it toast lightly.

4. Whisk the broth, milk, and wine (or sherry + vermouth) into the butter and flour (“roux”). Continue to whisk until smooth and thickened, then stir in all of the herbs and ground peppers. Taste and adjust seasonings as needed.

5. Preheat the oven to 375°F.

6. Let the gravy and vegetables cool slightly while you prepare the crust: stir the flours and kosher salt together, then drizzle in the olive in a slow, steady stream, stirring steadily until the mixture forms pea-sized crumbs.

7. Stir in the ice-cold water until the dough comes together, then knead together into a slightly crumbly ball.

8. Divide the dough ball in half. Prepare the top crust of the pot pie by fitting a sheet of parchment paper into a 9” pie pan and pressing half of the dough ball into the bottom and sides of the pan. Gently lift the crust and parchment paper together out of the pan.

9. Press the other half of the dough ball into the bottom and sides of the pie pan.

10. Pour the gravy over the vegetables, and then scoop the mixture into the crust. Holding the top crust to the parchment paper, invert the paper, and roll the crust gently over the top of the pie. Fix whatever rips have formed in the crust, and seal up the edges by pressing the two crusts together.

11. Bake for 30 minutes, then remove from the oven and stir the whisked egg over the top crust.

12. Bake for an additional 8 minutes, or until the egg has turned a beautiful golden-brown on the crust.

13. Remove from the oven and let cool for 10 minutes before cutting.

Wheat Rolls

Mmm, insect producty...

These rolls have it all. Flavor. Fiber. Insect product. Guaranteed to please anyone who possesses a keen intellect, discriminating palate, and – need I even say it? – superlative personal odor. Plus they’re darn easy.

Wheat Rolls
From King Arthur’s Whole Grain Baking.

Ingredients:
1 cup (8 oz) lukewarm water
2 ¼ tsp active dry yeast
½ tsp white sugar
¼ cup (2 oz) orange juice
4 Tbs unsalted butter, cut into small pieces and left at room temperature to soften for an hour, preferably
3 Tbs honey
2 cups whole wheat flour
1 cup all-purpose flour
1 ¼ tsp salt
3 Tbs potato starch flour OR potato flour OR ½ cup dried potato flakes
¼ cup nonfat dry milk*
Vegetable shortening

Butter.  Did I mention butter?

Directions:
1. Proof the yeast by dissolving the sugar in the lukewarm water and then sprinkling the active dry yeast on top. Let sit for 10 min. until foamy. If you have instant yeast, do not despair! For you can skip this step.

2. Combine all of the dry ingredients while waiting on the yeast, then add the yeast and other wet ingredients. Stir together and then knead by hand for approximately 4 minutes, or until you have a smooth, medium-soft dough. Cover the top of the bowl with plastic wrap and place it in a warm (~70°F**) place for approximately 1 ½ - 2 hours. It’ll be puffy but it probably won’t have doubled in bulk.

3. Using the shortening, lightly grease a 9x13” pan.

4. Squeeze the dough carefully with your hands to deflate it, and transfer it out onto a lightly greased work surface. Keep the shortening on hand as you work – you’ll need to re-grease the work surface, and your hands, in the next step.

5. Grease your hands and a knife blade, then cut the dough into approximately 16 even small pieces.

6. To make traditional roll shapes, pull the dough into a small knot on the bottom of the roll. Place each roll knot-side down in the greased pan, spaced so that they are not touching.

7. Cover the pan with the plastic wrap again and return them to whatever warm, private place you have selected for them to reflect on their impending doom. Let them rise again for another 1 – 1 ½ hours, or until they are puffy and starting to touch each other.

8. Preheat the oven to 350°F.

9. Remove the plastic wrap and bake the rolls for 25 minutes, or until they are pleasingly brown on the top. Remove and let them cool for 5 minutes before you try to cut into them, or else they’ll tear in a most obnoxious way.

* Why nonfat dry milk, and not just a cup of milk? I’d be worried about leaving out regular liquid milk at 70°F for over 3 hours, unless you’re really into the whole bacteria culture thing.
** I like using the light in the microwave, myself, by setting the bowl in the microwave and then leaving the door just slightly ajar so that the light is on and it warms up the interior.